My favorite prayer of all time is one that was prayed by Betty Scott Stam. Betty and her husband John worked with China Inland Mission and were beheaded by Communist there in 1934 for sharing their faith with the Chinese people. Her prayer has touched me for years. I have it written on the inside cover of every Bible I own. Her testimony challenges me as much today as it did when I heard it over 10 years ago. She loved her Lord and Savior and was willing to give her life so that others would know about His great love. Often I have asked myself if I could actually give up my life for what I believe.
I have looked at my calendar of events (IVF) over the next 2 months. I feel so busy….. Which is actually quite humorous seeing how I really have no social life at the moment. God has really been showing me to reflect on Him in these moments. He has allowed me to see His love for me in the times I have felt most chaotic. Daily I have been reminded of a Savior who gave His life so that I might be free from the bondage’s of death.
I was met with the challenge of giving up hope about 3 years ago. I had plans and ideas for how our future was turning out. I really would have liked to think that I could pray that prayer that I had in all my Bibles and mean it. Its funny how the Lord works. Even with something like this. He has brought me back to this prayer time and time again. I am reminded of the calling the Lord has placed on my life. And I do truly hope that when the prayer exits my lips it will be with a sincere heart and willing spirit.
“Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.”- Betty Scott Stam
Tonight I was reading in 2 Samuel chapter 12. In this chapter Nathan comes to David, who is king over Israel and shares a story with him about a rich man taking from a poor man his precious sheep that had become more or less his family pet. Davids reaction was honestly what mine was. He wanted justice on this man. as did I! The rich man had plenty of goats and sheep he could have killed for his guest, why take from a poor man? Nathan quickly pointed out to David how he (David) was that man. OUCH! He reminded David how the Lord had anointed him King, (slap) delivered him from Saul,(slap) had given him the house of Israel and Judah and to what did David do in return? (double slap, slap) He took from someone else (you can read the previous ch. if you have forgotten what David had done). And then he was quick to get angry when he heard of another doing it. I don’t know .. but this was convicting for me. How many things has the Lord given to me? Oh I cannot begin to count… Yet, I want what others have. I want to take what I think should be mine. I’m like a selfish child. MINE MINE MINE.. and I am so quick to forget all that I am given.
dang it… why does David’s life convict me so much?
okay so moving on from that thought……
Later in the same chapter, David is faced with the death of his infant son. He weeps and mourns and pleads with the Lord to spare the life of his child. However after 7 days of fasting his son dies. When David finds out the news, instead of getting angry at God, vs. 20 tells us that he gets up, washes himself and enters the house of the Lord and worships.
Over the next few weeks I not only desire to praise the Lord for what He has given me but I want to praise Him for what He so chooses to NOT give me.
Lord, allow me to worship you with open thankful hands. Please get me through these weeks trusting you with what it might bring. I want to worship you in all my circumstances. Yes Lord,… I really mean that.
I recently went to Wikipedia to find out the process that went into making a stained glass window. Really, I did. Sometimes my curious nature takes me on those little quest to know…
Well I am thankful for what I have found. Basically its not far from what I could have figured out by looking at. Although it was through reading about this process that the Lord allowed me to see a clear picture of His refining process of my life on this earth.
Basically this is what I read in Wiki: At the beginning the designer of the window collects broken glass of many colors. He has in mind what his piece of art will look like but initially it would look like junk to any that saw his work bench. He carefully puts the puzzle together with detail to where the colors and patterns go. After this happens he welds it together to create his masterpiece. Between each small piece of glass is lead welding it tight to keep any air from creeping through. When its done, the window is placed typically where the sun can shine through and truly show the artist’s beauty and precision. Not only has He done something with broken glass, He does so with such care that its a masterpiece that typically can with stand the test of time. As you can find in most old cathedral’s through out Europe.
Here I am Lord, broken pieces of glass. Thank you for loving me enough to take what you see and make it into a beautiful piece of art so that the world can see YOUR glory.
After reading through my favorite blogger’s site http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ this evening I was brought to a website for a photographer who happens to be the in DFW area. As I flipped through countless pictures of children and babies I prayed.
Lord, please allow me the chance to hire her to take my babies picture.
Its those prayers I have often stayed far away from. I don’t want to ask for something I have not believed God would give me. Tonight I feel different. Why shouldn’t I pray and ask Him for this? (please get back with me about the pictures) As for the Lord answering my prayers… He does everyday.
I had a dream about 9 years ago that I will never forget.
I was in a large field with nothing but grass as far as the eye could see. Around me stood people in my life from every walk. There was a moment that I heard my mom and older sister yelling my little sisters name out over and over. It was hard to find her in this massive crowd of people. Suddenly the sky darkened, lightening crashed and the clouds jumped. My mom’s voice was drowned out and I heard a distant sound that slowly got louder and louder. It was the sound of trumpets. I remember the moment I understood what the sound was. I turned and screamed at the crowd of people around me. I yelled, “He’s here! He’s returned! The Lord has come back!”. And at that moment I witnessed every single person fall to their knees and then face to the ground. And as clear as the conversations I had just today, I heard everyone start to sing, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty”.
I woke up all those years ago and remembered thinking that I never wanted to forget that dream. I mean, its not everyday that I had dream that was so intense. My dream was so real to me. So incredibly real. I woke up and cried. I wanted it to be real. I wanted to be in that field with those people lying on my face singing to the Lord God Almighty. Well, it was JUST a dream. I am thankful for it though. It has come to memory at different moments. Oh I long for that day. Even if I am in heaven, I imagine the Lord will have the saints there to start that worship service off. Wow… I can’t wait.
I am tired. And I’m thinking I have no idea what that really means. This past weekend Dena was in NJ with Kevin and the kiddo’s, and she spent the night at my sister Jenn’s house. Dena has a 3 yr. old named Cooper and twins, Zeke and Paige. (1yrs) My sister enjoyed her visit so much with them. She was highly impressed with Dena’s mothering skills. You have to understand my sister is not the mothering type so it doesn’t take much to impress her with the juggle of parenting skills. Although Dena REALLY impressed her. She could not say enough about how well Dena manages 3 small children.
I am really tired tonight. Dena, you will be getting a lot of calls from me if I have multiples. I think I need a glass of wine… just thinking about your hectic life. For now, I am going to enjoy a night without “crawlers”.
Cheers to good moms!