The last few days have been some of the most difficult days I have had to “live through” ,in my life. Not because of great tragedy but because of the severe pain that my body has been in. All day yesterday I had a sick feeling in my stomach that the timing was not right. I voiced my fears to God. Asking Him to please give the healing that I needed to carry a pregnancy or a way of knowing His timing.
We had our transfer scheduled for this morning at 8:30. I got all changed, the embryologist came in and met with us. She was very excited about the health of the 2 eggs that they would be transferring momentarily. Dr. Marynick came in and told me that he heard I had been having shortness of breath.
Here goes….. ( I thought)
He did a sonogram and found there was fluid build up in my ovaries which could be causing possible irritation to my lungs as well. After much discussing with the other doctor what would be best for me, the embryo’s and our future, it was decided that we should wait.
…”they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength….”
I prayed this morning that the Lord would give me peace. I knew that His timing in all this is really the perfect timing. Since, after all, HE is the creator of life. (as my sweet mother in law reminded me) And although we have gone down a very un -conventional way of getting pregnant. I have no doubt the Lord has been walking with us every step of the way. And God is with us.
Tomorrow morning I have to be there at 7am for a quick surgical procedure to drain the fluid from my ovaries. Hopefully this will start me on a process of healing and prepare my body for a pregnancy in the future. Not today. Not tomorrow.
We were told in order to heal properly, I need to give my body 2 months to get back to normal. Which wasn’t a surprise to me, since it has been verbalized before. We are trusting God with this and we continue to ask the Lord for healing. I have been in such a great amount of pain and I am ready to feel “normal” again.